6. Bravo

Few things bring as much joy to my heart as the TV channel Bravo. Let's examine some of the fine, fine things this network has brought to the world.

Project Runway:

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This is the original show that attracted me to Bravo, way back when in the first season. I could devote an entire post to some of the fantastic things that happened on this show!

Santino's impressions of Tim Gunn. Daniel V.'s adorable-ness. The Andrae face. Nick Verreros' stories about Paris Hilton walking on the beaches of Greece with her boyfriend. And that's only season 2!

It's the show that led us to start doing German accents. To wonder if we could create a dress out of ordinary supermarket items. To make us believe that we could become fashion critics.

Thank you Project Runway, for entertaining me mindlessly since the tenth grade. Danke.

The Real Housewives of (Fill-in-the-Blank)

Love love love these. Except for Atlanta. HATE IT.

But the others are fab!

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Orange County: great, great. The original. Nothing wrong with it. However, as the original, I guess the producers didn't know to what heights they could take these beyond-rich women to reality television stardom.

Disclaimer: I don't care what anyone says, I love Gretchen. Yes, her husband was old and rich but they were in love!!

Anyway.

New York City.


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These women all have a touch of cray in them, I'll admit. But I love 'em just the same. My mom and I have talked endlessly about them and which ones we like the best, and which ones we hate but love to watch the most, etc. etc.

I'll break 'em down for you (L-R):

Ramona: Girl has some crazy eyes going on. She is crazy. But you know, she loves her daughter, Avery, and I think it's sweet. Although Avery has begun to develop the crazy eye, poor thing.

Jill: Love the accent (Jewish, holla!). In fact, all aspects of her are very Jewish. She and Bethenny are hilar together.

LuAnn: The Countess DeLesseps, excuse me. She once chastises Bethenny for not introducing her properly to a driver. Whatever. I think she's very nice and classy, but she's totally upper-crust and knows it. Tennis in the Hamptons, that sort of thing.

Bethenny: Love her!! She's this natural food chefs (and not technically a housewife, since she's unmarried but whatever.) She's just really funny, and I like her hair a lot.

Alex: Don't really like her as a person, but she makes for great entertainment! Her husband has a gay vibe about him, but I think it's just because he's European. They're trying to climb up the social ladder, one benefit and gallery opening at a time. She has strange teeth but I think it works for her.

And now New Jersey


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THEY ARE GREAT!

Like so beyond tacky, it's great. I love their accents. I wish I could record myself doing impressions for everyone to hear but trust me they're great.

Memorable quotes:
"Mummy can't run, honey. Her bubbies are too big." -Dina
"This family is as thick as thieves. If you're messin' with my family, you're messin' with me." - Caroline
"Love my girls. Love, love, love my girls! Mwah, mwah, mwah!" -Theresa
(In response to his wife getting breast implants) "Happy wife, happy life." - Theresa's husband.

I hope they bring this one back for a second season!

NYC Prep


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I don't talk to the TV. Pretty much ever. Except when I watch this show. I'm constantly all, "Really? Really??" or "PC, listen to yourself you crazy."

And these kids they are crazy (L-R):

Kelli: Almost the most normal one out of the bunch. Except when her dog died and she stupidly asked, "Is she in there?" Meaning is her dog in the little box. Yes, your dog is in the coffin!!

Sebastian: So-called "ladies' man". Yes he gets a lot of girls. Yes he's like 15. "I hook up with between two and 16 girls a month," he says. Wow.

Camille: Gah, stop talking about stupid Harvard (not that Harvard is stupid). It's not the only school. Although I did feel pretty bad for her when she went on the admissions tour and that lady was the devil to her.

PC: Could very possibly be gay. Often looks like is wearing guyliner. And he's so goddamn pretentious you can't help but watch.

Jessie: Cross-eyed. It's the in-breeding, I tell ya.

Taylor: Gahhhhh stop caring so much what the private school kids think! Honestly though, she's not that much better than the rest of 'em.

God I love watching these kids mess up their lives on TV. Gives me hope. Or something like that.